One Bloody Mess: Myths & Realities of Bleeding with First Intercourse | Scarleteen

One Bloody Mess: Myths & Realities of Bleeding with First Intercourse | Scarleteen:

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"Lastly, historically, women's desire for intercourse or any other kind of sex was largely ignored, sometimes even considered an impossibility. We always need to understand that for many women through time, their first sex was actually either their first rape or something women just did not because they felt a sexual desire to, but because they understood it was something they had to do for men. If you're wondering why women would have sex like that when they didn't want to, remember that for many, marriage, or doing what men wanted, was a matter of life or death: for many women historically (and for some women still in parts of the world), marriage was the difference between having a place to live and not having one, between having food to eat or starving.

For most of history, sex was considered something that men wanted, that was 100% about men, that women didn't have any interest in but were obligated to do for men and had little choice or voice in, especially once they were married. Because of that, and because historically, first sex for women was not with someone they were in love with or attracted to, we can also know that for some women who had bleeding at first intercourse through history, that was because they were not aroused, were scared, and often sex was everything from only out of obligation to barely consensual to completely nonconsensual and by force."

"These are the kinds of historical sources that the idea bleeding should or must happen come from. These were (and for those who still have them, still are) really lousy, creepy and inaccurate ideas and precedents that are hardly respectful of women, and most certainly didn't treat women as whole people. They have never been based in the reality of women's anatomy or sexual experiences. When it all comes down to it, they've never really been about women at all, but about the way men and the world at large decided women are or are not valuable based not only in sexism, but in ignorance about our bodies."