Saturday, June 9, 2012

repressed white southerners want to declare themselves "Confederate Southern Americans" on the census. Try "hillbillies," guys, it's got a nicer ring

FARK.com: (5147108) In a move that will upset nobody, repressed white southerners want to declare themselves "Confederate Southern Americans" on the census. Try "hillbillies," guys, it's got a nicer ring:

'via Blog this'

(Washington Post)FailIn a move that will upset nobody, repressed white southerners want to declare themselves "Confederate Southern Americans" on the census. Try "hillbillies," guys, it's got a nicer ring  (voices.washingtonpost.com)divider line482
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2010-03-26 10:57:31 AM
Confederate Southern Americans

Don't they mean "traitors"? Taking up arms against your country still counts as treason, yes?
 
2010-03-26 11:06:49 AM
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Confederate Southern Americans

Don't they mean "traitors"? Taking up arms against your country still counts as treason, yes?


Pretty much. These people are morons. Taking pride in your region is nice and all, but interstate commerce has grown to the point where removing one part from the whole is going to cause problems for everyone.
 
2010-03-26 11:07:56 AM
Ohhhhhhkay Festus, how about I put you down as "another gibbering butthole" yeah I know, nows the time where you chase me off for "carpetbagging" and fill my "hindside with buckshot."
 
2010-03-26 11:11:15 AM
Retards.
 
2010-03-26 11:12:10 AM
"Treasonous racist cracker"
 
2010-03-26 11:12:12 AM
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Confederate Southern Americans

Don't they mean "traitors"? Taking up arms against your country still counts as treason, yes?


I was going to post almost exactly this, so all I can add is:

This.
 
2010-03-26 11:13:17 AM
Just going to add another "THIS" to the pile.
 
2010-03-26 11:13:32 AM
Guessing a venn diagram of this group, KKK members, and teabaggers would have a huge overlapping center part.
 
2010-03-26 11:13:35 AM
Good for them. We should all claim obscure or absurd ancestries. The government classification ("white" as European, Arab, etc.) is ridiculous and pointless.

/Northwestern European Islander, here
 
2010-03-26 11:13:38 AM
Shut up, check 'Palin-American', and go back to watching NASCAR
 
2010-03-26 11:13:39 AM
Since when does nationality equal race?

/oh wait...forgot who we're dealing with
 
2010-03-26 11:13:44 AM
telepromptedanthems.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-03-26 11:14:05 AM
It'll be fun to redistrict the rest of the country when all those southern states find themselves with one at-large Representative apiece.
 
2010-03-26 11:15:12 AM
Look, give them MS, AL, GA and Northern FL...cut them off economically and let em be sovereign...hell throw TX in while you're at it. All the acid spitting righties, racists, Palinites, let them have their own damn country, I say.
 
2010-03-26 11:15:29 AM
/facepalm
 
2010-03-26 11:15:30 AM
But doesn't confederate mean fake.
So they want to be "Fake Southern Americans"?
Strange
 
2010-03-26 11:15:41 AM
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Don't they mean "traitors"? Taking up arms against your country still counts as treason, yes?

But it's not THEIR country anymore! They lost it to the usur..usup..userup...the nigra that stole it from the real Americans!

/paging General Sherman...General Sherman to the ready room.
 
2010-03-26 11:15:45 AM
When the South tried to secede the first time, it's too bad the response from the North wasn't, "So long, and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."
 
2010-03-26 11:15:55 AM
I thought they were already known as "Palin-Americans".
 
2010-03-26 11:16:07 AM
The South Carolina-based Southern Legal Resource Center believes that people with ancestors who were citizens of the Confederate States of America should be entitled to ethnic identity and protection since the country no longer exists.

Wait...what? They were never an actual country were they? Would some kind Fark historian care to edumacate me if I'm missing something here?
 
2010-03-26 11:16:24 AM
Meh. The Census asks a stupid question, it gets a stupid answer.

If they asked for religion, we'd probably have a write in campaign for "Jedi", like they did in the UK.
 
2010-03-26 11:16:31 AM
I'm personally encouraging all who have Scandanavian descent to put Viking-American on their census. Mead drinkers unite, we shall follow Techno Viking to victory in 2012
 
2010-03-26 11:16:34 AM
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Confederate Southern Americans

Don't they mean "traitors"? Taking up arms against your country still counts as treason, yes?


I wnet to Charlestown SC and visited Fort Sumpter, I actually heard war of northern agression from a park ranger.
 
2010-03-26 11:16:37 AM
IXI Jim IXI: Shut up, check 'Palin-American', and go back to watching NASCAR

DAMNIT!
 
2010-03-26 11:16:54 AM
The South Carolina-based Southern Legal Resource Center believes that people with ancestors who were citizens of the Confederate States of America should be entitled to ethnic identity and protection since the country no longer exists.

Next stop, reparations.
 
2010-03-26 11:17:05 AM
As a citizen of 'The South', these people make my butt twitch.

Since the Confederate States of America is not (and never was) a recognized "nation", you can't be that "nationality". Shet the feck up, already.

/Bless their hearts...
 
2010-03-26 11:17:11 AM
MaudlinMutantMollusk: Since when does nationality equal race?

/oh wait...forgot who we're dealing with


There are only so many straws at which one can clutch.

PC LOAD LETTER: "Treasonous racist cracker"

Wouldn't all "real" African-Americans be able to list this as well? I say "real" in reference to all the hubbub that Obama wasn't really black enough for black people at first, since he isn't descended from slaves.
 
2010-03-26 11:17:18 AM
I guess we should be lucky that they didn't try to call themselves South Americans.
/Teabaggers FTW!
 
2010-03-26 11:17:23 AM
Hurricane4916

But doesn't confederate mean fake.

I believe you're thinking of "counterfeit," friend.

A fine entry on it's own, true.
 
2010-03-26 11:17:24 AM
Heh. I have a Job with the Census in a month, so I'm really going to be getting a kick...

off of these people's front porches.

/goddamn politicized census. Can't just be an honest gathering of data can it? nooo. has to be used for gerrymandering and justifying half-assed political Warghargarble.
 
2010-03-26 11:17:27 AM
www.newmediamedicine.com

"And hillbillies prefer to be called 'sons of the soil', but it ain't gonna happen."
 
2010-03-26 11:17:55 AM
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Confederate Southern Americans

Don't they mean "traitors"? Taking up arms against your country still counts as treason, yes?


Depends on your point of view.

"[...]when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."


There's a blurry line between "treasonous sedition" and "freedom-fighters/liberators/patriots".
 
2010-03-26 11:18:06 AM
Robert E. Lee was my 6th great uncle. My name is Grant.
What to do, what to do.

/Mom's gyne almost had a cardiac arrest
 
2010-03-26 11:18:09 AM
Hurricane4916: But doesn't confederate mean fake.

Not in English.

/counterfeit?
 
2010-03-26 11:18:28 AM
Oh good lord.
SLRC Chief Trial Counsel=
Southern Legal Resource Center: "Defending the rights of southerners to honor their culture and heritage."

Puleeze.
 
2010-03-26 11:18:42 AM
You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.

i29.photobucket.com
 
2010-03-26 11:18:43 AM
Doctor Funkenstein: The South Carolina-based Southern Legal Resource Center believes that people with ancestors who were citizens of the Confederate States of America should be entitled to ethnic identity and protection since the country no longer exists.

Wait...what? They were never an actual country were they? Would some kind Fark historian care to edumacate me if I'm missing something here?


I think the Confederate States of America were never officially recognized as a sovereign nation by the United States of America. And honestly, if they hate America that much, they can get the fark out.
 
2010-03-26 11:19:02 AM
Why would these people be traitors? They have about as much to do with the civil war as anyone else still alive. AKA None.
 
2010-03-26 11:19:07 AM
Still an all time favorite.

Site looks ok...can't find any Merry Melodies on YouTube anymore.
 
2010-03-26 11:19:21 AM
BunkoSquad: It'll be fun to redistrict the rest of the country when all those southern states find themselves with one at-large Representative apiece.

Not at all. It's a seekrit republican ploy. You see, the more people there are who refuse to fill out their census forms, the more people the Census Bureau will have to hire to go door-to-door in those states.

This means more jerbs in those areas, even if temporarily, which will boost the local economies.
 
2010-03-26 11:19:22 AM
Doctor Funkenstein: The South Carolina-based Southern Legal Resource Center believes that people with ancestors who were citizens of the Confederate States of America should be entitled to ethnic identity and protection since the country no longer exists.

Wait...what? They were never an actual country were they? Would some kind Fark historian care to edumacate me if I'm missing something here?


They had a government that no other country recognized.
 
2010-03-26 11:19:39 AM
This is better than their first idea-
The "Illiterate Southern Americans"
 
2010-03-26 11:19:41 AM
Never understood why people participate in civil war reenactments either.
 
2010-03-26 11:19:59 AM
Doctor Funkenstein: The South Carolina-based Southern Legal Resource Center believes that people with ancestors who were citizens of the Confederate States of America should be entitled to ethnic identity and protection since the country no longer exists.

Wait...what? They were never an actual country were they? Would some kind Fark historian care to edumacate me if I'm missing something here?


They were called the Confederated States of America^
They even had a President, Jefferson Davis

Guess you were asleep during much of American History class.
 
2010-03-26 11:20:01 AM
liam76: 
I wnet to Charlestown SC and visited Fort Sumpter, I actually heard war of northern agression from a park ranger.


Wierd, they say the same thing at Fort Sumter in Charleston, SC, too. Go figure.

/Sorry, couldn't resist.
 
2010-03-26 11:20:24 AM
liam76: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Confederate Southern Americans

Don't they mean "traitors"? Taking up arms against your country still counts as treason, yes?

I wnet to Charlestown SC and visited Fort Sumpter, I actually heard war of northern agression from a park ranger.


God I hate that. I hate that so much. Who fired the first shot?

I always follow that up with cracks about "the failed war to preserve slavery". That all gets a reaction.

All of that said, on the census, I checked 'other' and wrote in "Human".

/Fark identity politics.
 
2010-03-26 11:20:54 AM
wage0048: You see, the more people there are who refuse to fill out their census forms, the more people the Census Bureau will have to hire to go door-to-door in those states.

This means more jerbs in those areas, even if temporarily, which will boost the local economies.


Or, failing that, they can skin the census taker and eat him.
 
2010-03-26 11:20:59 AM
I'm gonna put down "Amero-American". For teh lulz.
 
2010-03-26 11:21:00 AM
The Grinch

There's a blurry line between "treasonous sedition" and "freedom-fighters/liberators/patriots".

It's not really so blurry. If you win, you're a patriot and/or freedom-fighter. If you lose, you're whatever the winners call you.

The Southerners lost, so they're traitors. They'll have to win next time if they want fair billing.
 
2010-03-26 11:21:02 AM
I moved from Detroit to Atlanta when I was a senior in high school.
First off, they were using textbooks that I used when I was a freshman. Even at 17, i could see how far behind they were in terms of education.
What was more startling, however was the realization that the Civil War was still an issue for many people. Seriously. I actually had people call me a "Yankee" and often heard jokes or insults about "northerners".
Now when I lived in the north, the Civil War was just something in history books and I never heard anyone talk about the south or "southerners".
So what's the deal down there?



/yes, it is a cool story
 
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