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(Why do people suggest to mothers that on the five hours per day that they, the moms, have off, usually, but not guaranteed, five days per week, that they should "Get a job?" And who is going to hire someone who can work five hours a day, maybe, unless their kid is sick? Besides maybe stockbrokers and CEOs who gets off all weekends, Holidays, and nights?)
Here's one moms take in England, I guess, since she's a "mum" instead of a mom. Women are unappreciated worldwide, apparently.
http://www.lohana.info/Readers%20Contributions/A%20Mothers%20Job%20Description.pdf
Being a mother is an important job. It entails training people for life. Teaching morals and right from wrong. Making sure sure that they get the proper education. Teaching Good hygiene and manners. Any teacher will tell you, teaching can be a massive pain in the ass.
The training for life process requires patience. LOTS. Not just for children, who behave like children, but with all the people who think they know better than you how to raise your children, especially the ones who do not have children themselves.
Mothers must be skilled in nursing, especially mothers who lack funds to run to the doctor for every ailment. Those moms will realize how lucky they really are, eventually.
For the low-fund or any other thoughtful mom I recommend this book: "How to Raise A Healthy Child In Spite Of Your Doctor" by a pediatrician named Mendelson. Invaluable resource guide. Also, "Vaccinations, A Thoughtful Parents Guide," which contains all of the package inserts to all childhood vaccines. When you sign the consent form absolving the doctor and the drug company of responsibility for adverse reactions from vaccinations, you will know what you are signing as the consent form clearly states that you do. To round the education required for mom-nursing moms need a comprehensive picture guide to common childhood rashes and illnesses, a family medical guide, and a "pill book" for researching over-the-counter medication and anything your doctor may prescribe. This book has photos as well. When (if) you find a strange pill in your teenager's room it is easily investigated.
A mother is a detective, medical and otherwise.
A mother is on call twenty-four hours a day, even when she is technically "off" because the kids are at school.
A mother is a janitor, maid, and cook.
A mother is a confidant, a therapist, and an advisor even though mothers are just plodding along trying to figure things out themselves.
Moms are sometimes unappreciated by their children, often unappreciated by their husbands, and become aliens to their childless friends, which is why so many friendships break up when only one of the friends becomes a mother.
The non-mom friends believe a child is like a piece of luggage which can be carried to functions, sat down with crayons or candy, and forgotten about. When said child relays ideas to the contrary, non-mom criticizes mom for being a pushover. Should mom lose her temper with said child, friend says mom is "terrorizing" the child. Mom realizes at this point she wouldn't be freaking out on kid if non-mom friend had not already called her a "pushover." Decides to spend more time with "mom" friends. If she has no mom friends, she can be quite lonely indeed. She may even become a computer addict.
Children are constantly learning from moms. This requires mothers to be very careful about everything that they do and say. Moms who were far from perfect have a difficult time adjusting to the transition from anonymous and free citizen to spotlit role model. Perfect moms who are well aware of their perfection are off the hook. They create Conservative Christian Republicans.
Mothers have to become judges, and sometimes lawyers for their children. They need to write the constitution for their family, which is an entirely new country beginning with child number one. Mom has to figure out the rules, the laws, and the appropriate punishment to mete out when rules are broken-which she did not expect to occur. Most moms expect the best from their children as well as unquestioning obedience because obviously moms know more than kids (the first child will disavow the mom of this notion fairly quickly), and when a child defies her edicts mom must decide which punishments fit which crime! You think that's easy? Not.
Sometimes it's not even easy to figure out if a crime is really a crime, or if it's just a crime because society says so (ie a five year old says "shit.") and sometimes a mom can't figure out if her child is being an overly defiant pain in the ass, or if she, mom, just has PMS.
Being a mother is full of guilty days, it means always wanting to say you're sorry.
Being a mother is one relationship you can not get out of. No matter how much an unreasonable jerk your kid is being you can't slam the door, walk out, and say, "That's it. it's OVER!" You aren't even supposed to resort to name calling so telling them they are being an unreasonable jerk is out of the question, though it's been done.
Being a mom is rewarding, sometimes, and emotionally draining, a lot. It can be dull and repetitive, especially for moms who don't have a goddamned dishwasher. It can be a joy, like when your daughter says your laugh lines are pretty and she hopes she looks just like you when she grows up. It can be funny, like when you start a lecture on why she should read the book you so thoughtfully bought her on the "Bill of Rights" even though she's four and she shuts you down with the Jenna Marbles Face http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wRXa971Xw0 It can be filled with trepidation: Is it fair to ban Jenna marbles because of cussing even though Jenna Marbles is really funny and it's your daughter who discovered Jenna in the first place? Ans: No, it isn't fair. Plus, any kid who's been to New Jersey and read "Why We Suck" by Dr. Denis Leary can handle a little foul language.
That's another book I highly recommend, but only if you like to laugh.
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