conservative evangelicals — a key base for the Republican Party

Top Ten Most Ridiculous Republican Anti-Gay Comments (HUMOR) | Addicting Info:

'via Blog this' here’s the top ten ridiculous republican anti-gay comments:

1. “If you’re involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it’s bondage. It is personal bondage, personal despair and personal enslavement.” ~ Michele Bachmann (New Civil Rights Movement)

(Marriage in general, if you ask me)

2. “It isn’t that some gay will get some rights. It’s that everyone else in our state will lose rights. For instance, parents will lose the right to protect and direct the upbringing of their children. Because our K-12 public school system, of which ninety per cent of all youth are in the public school system, they will be required to learn that homosexuality is normal, equal and perhaps you should try it. And that will occur immediately, that all schools will begin teaching homosexuality.” ~ Michele Bachmann (New Civil Rights Movement)

(Perhaps you should try homosexuality? They learn that in church, not school.)

3. “If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does. ” ~ Rick Santorum. (New Civil Rights Movement)

uh huh

4.“In this case, what we’re talking about, basically, is priests who were having sexual relations with post-pubescent men. We’re not talking about priests with 3-year-olds, or 5-year-olds. We’re talking about a basic homosexual relationship.” ~ Rick Santorum. (New Civil Rights Movement)

omg

5. “Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. Why? Because society is based on one thing: that society is based on the future of the society. And that’s what? Children. Monogamous relationships. In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing. And when you destroy that you have a dramatic impact on the quality.” ~ Rick Santorum. (New Civil Rights Movement)

6. “I‘m not ashamed to admit that I’m a Christian, but you don’t need to be in the pew in the country every Sunday to know that there’s something wrong with this country when gays can openly serve in the military but our kids can;t openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school.” ~ Texas Governor Rick Perry (HuffPo)

7. “Gay and lesbian people can choose to be straight just like people can choose to be celibate.” ~ Newt Gingrich (Little Green Footballs)

(duh. Most people don't choose to be celibate, either. People who do usually choose not to be celibate as soon as somebody wants to do "it" with them, except priests. They choose not to be celibate opportunistically.)

8. “Marriage between a man and a woman is at the heart of our civilization. It’s a belief that is now under attack, yet it’s at the very core of defining who we are.” ~ Newt Gingrich (HuffPo)

(I am not even religious and I used to fervently pray, constantly, that my parents would get a divorce. My religious friends without fathers in the house were somehow convinced that was horrible, and did anything possible to get a man's attention. The dressed revealingly, got pregnant (and had abortions,) drank and fornicated more than I ever did. Strangely, nobody ever told me all of these things were wrong except for religious people. someone must have told them that, and that made it attractive to them? Also, almost every one of my Christian friends has experimented bisexually, but none of them became permanently gay. don't y'all know the more wrong you say something is, the more everybody gets curious to try it? Jesus, common freaking sense.   

For the record, my dad didn't abuse me but my parents constant bickering got the fuck on my nerves.)

9. “The bigotry question goes both ways and there is a lot more anti-Christian bigotry today than there is concern on the other side, and none of it gets covered by the news media.“ ~Newt Gingrich (The Advocate)

(Yeah, because george Bush was such a Goddamned asshole we have no choice to notice that these right wing zealous Christians are CRAZY! if it wasn't for George Bush and his ilk tricking the evangelicals into thinking they had a hope in hell of taking over the world, nobody would have even noticed their bigoted asses. Everyone would still be going along, minding their own business. Except for them, of course.)

10. “We need to preserve traditional values for the future of our children. Children must be raised with morals and principles. As a society, we must provide them with a secured and loving environment that allows them to flourish.” ~ California State Sen. Roy Ashburn, a vehemently anti-gay, family values Republican who turned out to be gay.

(Hah. Talk to some kids who grew up in strict Christian households. My neighbor was sold to an old farmer when she was just hitting puberty, to be his wife. In Georgia. Like twenty years ago! She had her kids as a teenager and then eventually got away and married a hot tempered abuser, which she put up with because Christian women have no damn choice.)

 Michael Hayne is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, produces a chapter of Laughing Liberally, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook, Youtube, like and NJ Laughing Liberally Lab. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thon

-and everything in parenthesis is my opinion-JM